"Don't say it's a fine morning or I'll shoot ya! "- George Washington McLintock

September 30^th: Duke is 2 weeks old today and what did he get: rain……lots and lots of rain. Usually they  keep the lights on in his room since he is on the sunny side of the hospital, but because it was so dark from the rainy weather the lights were on. Other than the rain pounding at the window it was a quiet day.

            The mask is still and his CO2 levels are getting better. There were two new techniques the Occupational therapist did for Duke today to ensure he was learning the best way to take the deepest breaths. They gave him a belly band which is on his diaphragm and allows him to breathe more from his ribs, the other is Duke is a belly sleeper (they made a cute sign to make sure he doesn’t sleep on his back. Both of these are going to help him breath stronger and help him with his eating. He will probably wear the mask and band until Monday (because not much happens in the hospital on the weekends).

There are a lot of things I am grateful with Duke and how he is doing. There are babies in the NICU that stay there for up to a year without leaving. I am so pleased that Duke is doing well and his new therapies are going well. It is amazing how much personality this little guy has already with just two weeks, he kicks off the covers, he pushes away the nurses and wakes up when I read to him. Most importantly He smiles at just the right time. He's a funny little bird.

"Get off your horse and drink your milk."- John Wayne

September 29^th: The doctors decided they wanted Halloween to start early so they gave Duke a new mask. Actually the doctors wanted to improve his CO2 numbers and help him learn how to breathe deeper. This mask isn’t just a constant flow of air into his nostrils, but rather it gives his times of high and low pressure so he learns naturally (well as naturally as a mask can be) how to breathe deeper. They say he will be off the new breathing tubes in a couple of days. They did his first CO2 testing with the new mask and his numbers were normal (Woo Hoo!!)

   **Thank you to the Mouser family tonight for dinner for our family. We got so full on the dinner we didn’t even get the dessert. I will have that for breakfast tomorrow ;). **

"I don't act.....I react"- John Wayne

September 28^th: Duke is doing very well of the IV in his belly button. There has been not tearing to his skin around his belly button. Duke now relies on the gastric tube to provide his nourishment. He gets 40 CC’s of breast milk every 3 hours and liquid multivitamin once a day.  Duke is still on the oxygen and we find he likes his levels as they are and when they decrease he gets fussy. They tried a different position to help with his reflux and mucous which is at an angle and on his belly with the tube (only to be done at the hospital as the nurse told me today.)

Duke’s speech therapist wasn’t here today or yesterday, which annoyed the doctors on rounds and my nurse. Nurse Debbie was trying to find them, but no luck. It is amazing how many people are advocates for Duke and helping him prepare to start eating from a bottle.

I don’t know how nurses do it every day. I have to wash my hands and antibac my hands all the time. I am surprised their hands aren’t raw, because mine are starting to feel that way. I am also the first one to tell you to wash your hands before touching Duke, LOL.

   **Thank you to the Cote family tonight for dinner for our family. We devoured the pasta which was very sweet of you. We appreciate this and your family. **

"Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much." -John Wayne

First attempt at video

“Well, there are some things a man just can't run away from.” – Ringo Kid

September 27^th: I made doctors rounds today, woo hoo! The doctors talked about how well Duke was doing and they are going to be taking him off the belly button IV. This means he is going to only be getting breast milk from the gastric tube. This is another big step for him. They haven’t set a time for him to be off the oxygen because he has 1 not so good CO2 test. They are looking to get a good test tomorrow to bring him down on the air pressure. I can't wait to see his whole face, but I don't want to be there when the tape comes off his face.

            Tomorrow Duke is going to start seeing a speech therapist. I thought that was odd too, but they are going to help him learn to suck on a bottle and swallow. This person is going to help Duke get one step closer to home. I just need them to have a occupational therapist next to work on his muscles to ensure they are getting stronger.

            Duke got to meet Jessie today. He popped his eyes open when she came in the room (they better because he has been listening to her for the past 7 months when I have been at work). He sneezed and got the hiccups for her, which she thought was hysterical. It is amazing how he reacts to different voices and times of day. He knows exactly when I get in the room because he opens his eyes and he knows when he gets to eat and has his vitals checked every 3 hours.

   **Thank you to the Uthe family today for dinner for our family. I appreciate you taking this off my parent’s plates and putting some comfort food on them! **

"Out here a man settles his own problems."- Tom Doniphon

September 25^th and 26^th: Weekends at the hospital are very slow mostly they are maintaining the babies in the NICU. Duke and I had more Kangaroo time where he lays on my chest, mouth agape and giving me the challenge of kissing his head. The big phrase for how he looks when I hold him is content, which I am too when I hold him content and sleepy.

            With each day they keep increasing his food. He is up to 25 CC’s of breast milk and they are going to start being more aggressive with how they are feeding him. Every 12 hours they are going to increase his feeds by 5 CC’s. They have also started having him work on a pacifier, which teaches him how to start sucking on a bottle. Duke knows his goals and he is settling them on his own.

Duke got to meet a lot of people this weekend who were cooing over him. The big thing I hear is how much smaller he is than people realize from the pictures. I remind them the camera adds 5 pounds so he looks 10 pounds. He is good about waking up when people come in, even if it is just for a few minutes. Mom was very jealous when GG (Great Grandma Frye) was able to keep his vitals more regular than she could.

I hate not knowing when he is coming home, some nurses say a week and some nurses say when his due date was (October 29^th). I want to take him home every day because I hate leaving him there. This had nothing to do with the hospital or the nurses because they are amazing with him. I just want look over at his crib and know he is in there. I know he is working his hardest and every day am so amazed by the progress this little bird has made.

“Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.”- John Wayne

September 24^th: Julie and our Children’s Pastor Jamie came to the hospital today with me. Duke decided to sleep through most of their visit. Today was a slow day with not a lot of action. Duke went up to 15 CC’s of breast milk and is handling it very well. It’s funny to go from big thing, big thing, stable, but everyone needs a recovery day. He has not taken any steps backwards so I can’t complain J

   **Thank you to Fawzi Williams and the Williams family today for dinner for our family. That was incredibly sweet of you and our family really appreciated the yummy dinner and desert!**

"I am a demonstrative man, a baby picker-upper, a hugger and a kisser--that's my nature." - John Wayne

September 23^rd:  Pop Rock and I went to the hospital this morning. We were excited because Day 2 off the ventilator and Duke is staying strong. We have to keep his neck a little up to help with his breathing, because unlike his cousins his neck muscles aren’t as strong. There weren’t any more tubes leaving today, but he only has a few left and we are working on those tubes.

Today I got to hold Duke for the first time today. The type of holding I did today is called the Kangaroo hold. It is meant to have the baby feel like it is back in the womb and comforting. The baby is able to help with regulating their temperature, aid in digestion and allow for bonding with you baby. If you want to learn more……that is why god invented Google magic my friends.

Holding Duke today was absolutely amazing. He is very long but very tiny so picking him up was very nerve wracking because I can’t even remember having dolls this small. I put him down my shirt for the Kangaroo hold so we were chest to chest. I will admit after holding him today made it the hardest of all days to leave him. Poprock was apprehensive holding him today but Grammy jumped at the chance for some hold time.

The nutritionist upped Dukes milk dosage today, so he is not getting 2 tsps of breast milk every 3 hours. He has done well with the milk and he is close to starting eating from a bottle (that is goal #3 to go home).

            There was a radio-thon today at Children’s Hospital with the radio station 107.3. They were there from 5am-7pm and had a goal of raising $250,000 and ended up raising $426,000. A lot of children who have been staying at the hospital for a while were there making crafts and talking to the DJ’s. Very cute and amazing fundraiser for the hospital.

"Yup. The end of a way of life. Too bad. It's a good way. Wagons forward! Yo!"- Hondo Lane

September 22^nd:  Duke came off the ventilator today!!!!!!!! HOOORRRRAAAAYYYYYY!!!!! He is breathing like a champion. There was one moment when he was sleeping and was not breathing regularly, as which time my body has never been so tense (like I was a toothpick which would have broken if you touched me). The nurse moved him around and he remembered how to breathe and kept going from there.

            His nurse for the past two days was Cassie, who was very attentive to Duke. She was very excited for Dukes movements today. She allowed me to take his temperature, change his diapers and showed me what some of the monitors and how the medicines work with the machines.

So here is the tube count. We are down his IV and Ventilator, he still has his tube going into his stomach for breast milk and the tubing through his belly button for his nutrition. The doctor today said she thought Duke was phenomenal with the strides he was making. She said she didn’t think he would get off the ventilator this early and was pleased with how he was taking the breast milk.

            Candi was able to spend time with Duke again today before she was returning to North Carolina. She stayed extra today so she could see him without his ventilator, she took most of the pictures for today.

   **Thank you to Lori Knowles and the Knowles family today for dinner for our family. The food was delicious and was very appreciated!**

Look at my wing span (he did this on his own)

"Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.”- John Wayne

September 21^st: Phew! I finally caught up on everything today with the writing. It’s hard to remember everything and just sitting to write without falling asleep. Duke has grown already so much, he looks more human daily rather than a little bird. The nurses and doctors gave me several pieces of good news today

1.      The new ventilator is working great and his CO2 count has decreased even more so they can wean him off more. The doctor said the ventilation tube may come out tomorrow and from there we observe how his lung muscles are doing.

2.      He is two days without morphine and he is more alert and responds to any and all stimulus.

3.      His face has softened since being born, which makes them start to rule out some of their concerns they had early on.

4.      His skins is looking more pink by the day so he should be off the kangaroo lights for his jaundice by tomorrow.

5.      Tomorrow he may be off the ventilator!!!!!!!! His weaning has been very successful and we are excited to get him off the ventilator, because this means I can hold him for the first time.

            Now to take him home means he has to do the following 1. Breathe on his own 2. Maintain his temperature 3. Be able to feed via his mouth. These are goals I know Duke can achieve because with him only being 5 days old he is pleasing the doctor with ever stride he makes. Before leaving they will still need to do a hearing test because often times babies born early have some hearing loss and we will need to see if and how much he has. We will also have to start testing him in a car seat to ensure he is comfortable and there are no problems with him in his seat.

         The nurses have commented on how long he is and imagine just how tall he is going to be shortly. Hopefully we can get him into some clothes soon so we can see what size he is in.

    **Special Thank you to those from University of Phoenix who had planned to have by baby shower on Friday, Sorry Duke wanted to come a little early. Thank you for what you did to my desk J**

"I play John Wayne in every part regardless of the character, and I've been doing okay, haven't I?" - John Wayne

September 20^th: Each day both of us get a little stronger I am walking around, playing with my nephews and making sure I am walking as much as I comfortably can. Today Grammy, PopRock and I went to spend the day with Duke. When we got to the hospital they told us we just missed rounds, but he was doing better. He had several lights on him today because he was a little jaundiced (yellow-bellied, but we would never call the Duke that).

We got to meet the Neurologist today and several of the pediatricians with rounds today. The Neurologist notices his movements were happening with and without touch stimulus. The doctor ordered a test to see how his brainwaves were working without the morphine to see how he was developing. The Neurologist and her residents were very nice and all commented on Dukes name and his full head of hair.

            The repertory technician told us about changing over his breathing tube today with the Pediatric doctors. The air leak was okay, but getting a smaller tube would be a better fit for Duke and he would get off the tube quicker. We are all a fan of Duke getting home quicker, he has a crib waiting on him. So we left while they replaced his ventilator tube. The new tube is so much quieter and his chest doesn’t look so mechanical.

"There's been a lot of stories about how I got to be called Duke. One was that I played the part of a duke in a school play--which I never did. Sometimes, they even said I was descended from royalty! It was all a lot of rubbish. Hell, the truth is that I was named after a dog!" - John Wayne

September 19^th: His name is very popular, everyone loves it (doctors, nurses, teches). People will call him John until they hear me call him Duke and they change it. Little John is also appropriate because of his size, but we will see how long that lasts. They also think the magnet we have by his bed is adorable with a picture of John Wayne on it and his quote “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”

     Today Duke was very responsive to voices and touch. He is easily stimulated by touch and often if you play with his feet he will move them as if to say “stop it!” However with how sweet he looks we can't help but touch him and talk to him about how much we love him and want him to get better so he can come home.

His nurse for the past couple of days has been Ann Marie, who looks over him like an hawk! She pops in because she swears she hears things and I am grateful! I am beyond happy to have someone with those reflexes and concerns looking after Duke. They introduced some of my breast milk today ( 1 tsp) which he has fed to him through a tube to his stomach. I got to feed him some, which was very nerve wracking because I didn’t want to be too quick or too slow. When I checked in later she said he has been able to keep it down, which means he is accepting the milk which will only help him move toward getting out of the hospital quicker.

            The doctor today was telling us about his ventilator, it has a bit of a gap in it and they may have to replace the hose, which would be better for him, but they don’t want to do it if his CO2 levels aren’t as good because this could set him back a little. I listen and can hear the leak, which makes him sound a little like a duck. They tell me he is relying less and less on the ventilator and is breathing more room air which helps his lungs prepare for being off the ventilator.

            We listened to a little Beatles music today, but this distracted the doctors a bit, so we will have to introduce more music later. The nurse said the musical stimulous is good, and soft, but it just annoys the doctors.

"Every time you turn around expect to see me.” -Tom Dunson

September 18^th: I got to leave the hospital today and see Duke for the first time. If I could have ran out of the hospital I would have. Getting to Children’s Hospital is a hike since it is in DC, but it a beautiful building and it is beyond kid friendly. The hospital is the size of a football field and I was glad there were a lot of signs because I would have gotten very lost very easily. The great thing is the staff there are very serious about security, but so kind when it comes to the kids. When you walk up to the front desk they smile and welcome you to the NICU.

            John’s room is amazing and it’s just him in the room. He has a lily pad on the floor and flowers on the ceiling. When you look out his window you get a panoramic view on the capital building to the Washington Monument. When he keeps his eyes open I hope he gets to see the beauty he is staying by.

            To visit the NICU you have to wash your hands a lot so after I scrubbed my hands then put antibac on them I was able to truly touch and see Duke for the first time. The tubes were just as described and he was still so birdlike. They gave him some morphine to keep him comfortable since he has a lot of tubes and wires coming in and out of him. He has a little cap on his head, but I can see he has dark brown hair poking out from it just like I said he would after months of heartburn.

            When I leaned over his bed to see him for the first time and say hi he opened his eyes. I talked with him and tried to be as gentle as possible since he is so tiny and I am so clumsy. I held his hands and felt them wrap around my finger. It is amazing how he can already grip with the rest of his muscles not developing as much. Everyone who came to the hospital today (Grammy, Aunt Judy and Auntie Bethany) were amazed at him and how tiny he is.

            The doctor told me the big concern right now is he as not developed a lot of his muscles in his legs and arms, which they are doing some testing to find if this is the reason behind his tone or if it was from the excess embryonic fluid squishing him and he needed the 6 weeks to grow a little more. The tests can take over a week to get back because they have to send them out for several studies to ensure Duke is healthy or if we need to be looking at how to best help him if he does have a genetic concern. We just keep touching  him to help stimulate movement from him. Everyone jokes around he is going to be like the Warners Brothers Frog and when we are there he is in there with a top hat and cane singing.

     **Thank you to Teresa Piercy for bringing food for our family to eat, we appreciated this and you helping take something huge off our plate and putting yummy chicken on it!**

"Cause even grown men need understanding." -Marshall J.D. Cahill

September 17^th: Today I was in the hospital recovering from the C-section and Duke was in Children’s. The doctors said the most critical hours for a preemie are the first 24 hours. This is the time when a baby has a lot going on with their breathing, heartbeat and in general how they are adapting to life outside. I was adapting to my first ever surgery, which was a bit challenging. Standing the first time made me feel like a turtle, but after a couple to instances of standing I was able to get the handle of it.

            Mom and Candice went to the hospital because I couldn’t. I checked in with the doctors and nurses through the day to check on him. He was on the ventilator and had to have several tubes placed in his stomach, bellybutton and other areas to ensure he was getting nutrition and was able to function. The doctors told me the main things for preemies are they need heat, nourishment and air. From what the doctors told me all were covered. They let me know he was on a ventilator and how his progress was. They sent me pictures through the day, which I tried to send out as much as possible, but it’s hard to keep track of who you send them to.

            The people calling in and visiting today was overwhelming but wonderful. I spoke with Duke’s Grandma Anna for the first time today and was so appreciative of her words of encouragement and her reaching out to me about him. I also heard from family, friends, co-workers and people I hadn’t heard from in a long time and forgot how lovely they were and felt the love they were sending to Duke and myself. This is the day and I was inspired to start this blog because a lot of people love this little guy already and wanted to know how he was doing. I didn’t want anyone to miss out on the amazing things that would be going on in his life and thought this was the best way to document them without leaving out telling anyone.

            Visitors came later in the day, it is a work day after all. I was so grateful of all the little gifts and things people brought in and the hugs shared….yes I hugged multiple people mutltiple times! I was defiantly not prepared for this little guy and was thankful for the little things brought. The last thing I did before bed was check on Duke over the phone. The nurse said he was content sleeping in his little bed, he survived day one, now we move on to the next day.

"He was a good man. Make sure that it says so on the patrol report." -Duke Gifford

September 16^th: Ambien and Fetal monitors are not my friend. I only slept 4 ½ hours that night due to having to pee, readjust my fetal monitor and Ambien not working on me. I was not allowed to eat or drink until I delivered, which I don’t believe I could do even if I was allowed to eat. I also made the terrible mistake of dropping my new book in the toilet. This left me with two things, my work laptop and infomercials. I spent the first part of the morning cleaning up my soon to be filled inbox and poked fun at for doing work hours before delivering. I also sent out an email telling everyone what was going on with me at work and on Facebook.

            I later had the lovely distraction of our Family friend Cindy coming in to visit with me and talk about her experience with her twins. It is amazing who god has us speak with or hear from at just the right time. She kept me company and helped me keep laughing about stories of her children and my brother. Next in were my mother and father who were ready to get this baby show started, unfortunately though two emergencies came in before me, since Dukes heart was stable the wasn’t as big of a risk as the other two. Dr. Wells came in, and though I tried to talk her into letting me take a shower before the surgery, it was a no dice deal. She informed me my C-section got moved back from 2:30 to 4pm, giving me more time to work on emails and check out Facebook (I had started to receive a lot of notifications that people were praying for me). I think Dr. Wells was more irritated with this than I was.

            My nurse came in, who turned out to be a school classmate of mine from high school, small world. I know sometimes you see people you went to high school with and you think, oh crap, not the case, we didn’t know each other very well then so it was perfect. She really helped me with preparing on what was going to be happening and understanding what the procedure would be like. If you ask my parents they will discuss how I was cracking jokes and being spirited right before getting ready for my C-section. I figured if I didn’t help is I was in my room moping about something I couldn’t control.

            My mother was going to go in the room with me since C-sections only allow one person and my father certainly does not want to see his daughter get sliced and diced if necessary. My sister called multiple times that day to check on my and see what was going on, if I was delivering regularly she would have been in the room, but what can I say my kid already likes to be early as a friend of mine told me.

            The operating room was not as I imagined it, I.E. in the movies, and I was so happy when they asked if I wanted music. Yes the more music the better! The room was brightly lit and was pristine white. My anesthesiologist was a very funny man and I had to keep myself from laughing a lot as I was getting ready for the party to start. Getting the spinal block was not painful, in fact it was lovely. They got me really situated on the table and started to deliver John. During the delivery I got light headed once as I was adjusting to the medication, but after that I was talking with the anesthesiologist as mom popped her head over the sheet every so often to see what was going on. I declined the mirror….didn’t need to see any of that. Again I was poked fun at because I was joking and having conversations rather than worrying as I was being operated on.

            John Wayne Williams was born at 5:19pm silently. They told me he was a boy, and my mother watched as they started to clean him up and see how he looked. She told me he was very tiny, which was a very odd thing for us, since we have large babies in our family (let’s just put it this way, the smallest weight in the baby pool was 8 lbs.) They wrapped him up and wheeled him over to me to send him to the NICU, I didn’t get to see his face. Looking back on it, this seems very sad, but logically I knew I was going to see him again so I wasn’t worried.  

They burrito’d  me up in blankets and took me into recovery. Mom went to talk with dad and show him the pictures she took and I told my nurse to eat, she hasn’t eaten in a while. The head of the NICU came into my room and told me that John was in need of special attention their hospital could not give him (they are meant more for just observation and helping cook the babies a little longer). They asked if I wanted him to go to Children’s Hospital or Johns Hopkins. I told them since there was a shooting at John Hopkins today….I was going with Children’s. The nurse overheard the conversation and found my parents. Because they needed to move him quickly they pulled me from recovery early so I could see Duke.

            I was wheeled into the NICU and I was able to see him, or his feet actually. He looked like a little bird with his arms and legs spread out because they were so tiny. He wasn’t moving except for his chest, which was a relief. They put me at the bottom of his bed so I was able to touch his feet, but that is all I could reach. His feet were tiny and not moving. They had no measured him yet, so I wasn’t sure how much he weighed or how long he was.  I told them to let my parents in to make sure they got to see him too and they wheeled me out and I will admit I cried a little. I knew he was in good hands, but I didn’t get to see him as much as I wanted to.

They got him prepared to air lift out of the  hospital and it took an EMT taking a picture with my camera for me to see his face, which was so tiny. I jumped online to let everyone know how I was doing. I got a lot of flak for this too, but I didn’t have a child to care for so I needed to keep busy. They set me up with some pain medicine and I sent my parents home (that couch was no place for anyone to sleep). I fell into a deep pain free sleep.